Light after darkness
Lighthouse for Grieving Children and Families provides free resources to support grieving Ontario youth
During her darkest moment, Filomena never thought she’d see the light.
Until she found Lighthouse.
In September 2005, Filomena unexpectedly lost her husband while he was playing hockey, his favourite sport. Although family and friends stepped up to help Filomena and her two young sons, aged 8 and 9, and offered support as they grieved, it wasn’t enough. They needed the understanding and companionship of others who shared similar experiences with death loss. That’s when they turned to Lighthouse for Grieving Children and Families – an organization that offers facilitated, free peer support groups for children and youth who’ve experienced the death of parent, sibling, or close friend — and one of this year’s Energizing Life Community Fund recipients.
“The group facilitators at Lighthouse guided us on a path to help us find our new normal,” she says. “Lighthouse understood how debilitating this experience was for our family.”
Everyone grieves differently, which is why Lighthouse support groups are ongoing and open-ended — families can participate for as long as they need, to actively explore their emotions and grief in their own time. In Canada, 1 in 14 children will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18.
“Lighthouse groups were especially impactful for my boys because it allowed them to be with their peers and process what was happening while giving them the tools they needed to move forward,” Filomena adds.
Tips for coping with grief on special occasions
With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day fast approaching, these days can be emotionally difficult for those who are grieving the death of a parent.
“They are significant days that come with sharp reminders that those who were closest to us are no longer (physically) with us,” says Anne Smith, Executive Director, Lighthouse. “Providing support to a grieving child has a significant impact on their mental well-being because they’ll feel less isolated and more understood. We want to offer them a sense of hope,” she adds.
Lighthouse offers some tips on how to help children cope with these important dates:
Start the conversation: The days leading up to Mother’s and Father’s Day can be even more difficult than the actual occasion. Talk about these anticipatory feelings with your children.
Prepare for school activities: While other students are making Mother’s Day or Father’s Day crafts, your child may want to make a craft or something special for a friend or relative. Help your child prepare a script so they feel confident in speaking up when an activity or craft is triggering for them.
Honour in your own way: Everyone grieves in their own way, so involve your children in discussions about the different ways they would like to remember and honour their parent.
Make it special: Think of unique ways to mark significant days. For example, if the loved one who died loved gardening, spend the day planting their favourite flowers.
Lighthouse groups are available in-person or online, for children and youth ages 3-19. If you or someone you know is looking for more information about grief support groups or has questions about child grief and bereavement, contact Lighthouse for more information.
Lighthouse for Grieving Children and Families
905-337-2333
info@lighthousegriefsupport.org
www.lighthousegriefsupport.org
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